Anonymous College Trip

Anonymous College Trip
By Adlai, Juliet, and Emily K.

Oh tour guide with the tattoo
And the oddly shaped eyebrow,
No, I do not enjoy horseback riding
And I have no interest in joining the Polo team.
I am drowning in these pamphlets and
Your awkward sexual innuendos.

I can smell the half eaten hot dog odor
Coming from your mouth,
And all because that obnoxious mom 12 people back
Had to yell "Excuse me, there are children who can't hear!"
...Children?

As for the boy in the grey hoodie,
The red button is for emergencies only.
I promise you,
The police will come if you press it.

And for the girl who's already winked at me three times,
No, I will not be your roommate.
So stop asking.

So, no, tour guide with the tattoo and the oddly shaped eyebrow,
I will not be back soon.