The Endings

I don't exactly know who is going to end up seeing this post, let alone if anyone for whom it is intended will end up seeing it. That uncertainty, however, makes this space strangely appropriate for this post.

Today, at 5:38 pm, my mom, sister, and I pulled out of the school parking lot after my final FC spring musical performance. Even now, four hours later as I sit in front of a laptop, I have trouble grasping that I will never perform on the FC stage again. I'm a unique case, because I will be majoring in Acting next year. I don't feel the pain or frustration that I will never perform again, but it is nevertheless extremely difficult to cope with the fact that I am leaving such a special group of people behind so soon. In 48 hours or shorter, everything that happened over three months of intensely fun rehearsal will be a memory. In 40 years, what will we have left of this transcendent experience?

In Maya Angelou's words, one may not remember what was done or said, but he or she will remember how someone made him or her feel. That is how I feel about the family that I am forced to leave behind until further notice. At our high school reunions, we won't remember any inside jokes that are now repeated 20+ times daily. We won't remember our tracks in the show, our blocking, our choreography, or our vocal parts. We might not even remember exactly who played which role, or who was on the production team. What we can never forget, however, is how we made eachother feel.

I pity students who have never experienced the bond that is created during a process like ours. Each day, our mutual bond flourished exponentially. Each day, I found new things I love about each person in the cast. Each day, I was reminded why I am pursuing performing as a career in some way, even if the signal was negatively veiled or not readily seen.

I love you all, and the way you made me feel will live in my heart forever.

Sam