Senioritis: A Case Study

Definition: A degenerative disease that degrades the Motivation Complex and exacerbates the Procrastination Cortex.  Those afflicted with Senioritis usually range from 17 to 18 years of age, with equal representations of both genders.  Almost all affected individuals are enrolled in the twelfth grade of secondary school, although cases of early onset have been widely reported.

Symptoms:

- Grossly diminished attention span

- Increased capacity to formulate excuses

- Addiction to social media outlet

- Noticeable amnesia

Senioritis progresses in four stages that are easily distinguished by the severity of the conspicuous symptoms.

Stage One: The individual typically develops Senioritis early in his/her senior year, but symptoms do not manifest for several weeks.  The student gradually reduces the amount of time invested in assignments or studying, but the change in academic habits is nearly imperceptible in his/her grades, which largely remain the same.  The student is the first to notice the change in behavior, and can often be heard commenting about his/her ‘procrastination.’ 

Stage Two:  The student suddenly develops the ability to avoid activities that require mental exertion.  He/She may regularly leave assignments uncompleted and often approaches test with a fatalistic attitude.  The student begins to interpret deadlines as suggestions.

Stage Three: The student is no longer conscious of the present.  He/She develops an imaginary existence, typically one that takes place on a college campus several months in the future.  All attempts to rouse the student are usually met with apathetic stares. 

Cure:  Most studies have shown that a diploma immediately eradicates Senioritis, with no adverse effects to the student.

I think I'm at Stage Two

-McKenna